Different degrees.

Do you ever feel like you are in a "different class" when you talk to someone with a higher degree than you, say a Masters, PhD, or even an LLB or MBBS (admittedly, for the latter, being termed other than Mr/Ms always puts one at a different social strata)?

Was surprised that my colleague felt she was being "treated" so by the people whom we report to, even though she herself is a graduate. I asked her if she meant the "social distance" between a boss and subordinate -- it's not the same, really. She then said "different" as in the social prestige that their higher degrees conferred on them as a class.

Can't say I feel it as keenly as she does. Guess being surrounded by PhDs and Profesors during the first 5 years of working life has made me less intimidated. And my most recent ex-job made me grow balls that I didn't know I could, i.e. made me even more "guai lan" than I already was. Laugh! Anyway, the age difference is not as wide with some of my current higher-ups. Incidentally, the other graduate IS much younger.

Maybe I also don't allow myself to subscribe to the class difference. Or age has made my skin thicker.

I'm sure some people have truly "earned" their higher degrees. But I also know you don't need a degree (higher or otherwise) or age to be "special" or worthy of respect.

I think self-confidence makes a "difference" too, eh?

Yours sincerely.

Her World December 2002:

Feature writer Chelsia Toon wrote about a date, and how she did "the feminist thing by ordering and footing the bill". And then post-date, she said "Although I would have declined if Mike had wanted to go Dutch, it would still have been nice if he had offered." Women like her give feminism a bad name. Snort.

In another feature about "Brides for Sale", a 40-year old man said that "I'm not looking for a beautiful girl, it would make me feel insecure. Character is more important. She has to be loving, submissive and respectful. I don't want a wife who's too educated -- I don't believe a wife should influence her husband. I want to be the decision-maker." Yeah sure, don't you mean LACK of character, don't you? What a L.O.S.E.R.

Have a problem with hypocrites, and sometimes too, when people don't and won't say what they really mean.

For the former group, it doesn't really matter. Bunch of liars. 'Nuff said.

As for the latter, guess it doesn't matter if I never catch on to what people had really meant or wanted. But when I DO catch on, it takes a lot of effort to continue with the charade or to pretend like I was a dumb ass. Sometimes, I can barely hold back my growing irritation at having to waste time doing guesswork or being brought on the merry-go-round. I also do not think it is very nice to tell your friend that you would do something for him when you have no intention of going through with it; or worse still, do a 180-degree about-turn. Definitely not nice. That just about puts you in with the bunch of liars.

Am not the most sincere person among my friends; nor do I not appreciate the intricacies of communication and diplomacy. But sometimes, when too much time and raw nerves would have been wasted on silly misunderstandings, and then the hurried (and clumsy) attempts to salvage one's pride, why not just say what you mean? You might be pleasantly (alright, "unpleasantly" is just as much a possibility) surprised at the outcome. In any case, you might just walk out of the situation with a less bruised ego than you thought was possible.

Happily single. [edited]

"Modification" is typically realised by an adjectival group, but also by a nominal group or clause (containing a verbal element). E.g. nice men, friendly men, intelligent men.

Reading Wenjie's 1 Nov entry, am reminded that singlehood is still an uncomfortable notion for many. Hence, the modifier "happily" that almost always goes together with "single": "I am single BUT I am happy."

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Was told in a very earnest tone, that I should "just go out and get another boyfriend" so that I could get out of my current "unhappiness"; and for that matter, be a happier person in general.

Was mortally insulted at the suggestion. For one, she had judged me by her standards of happiness. For another, no one could replace the bear. The bear is the bear. He was special -- to me at least. There is no replacement and no compromise.